A few weeks ago, I talked about a strategy I share with my clients for managing anger. This was to respond instead of react. Today, I wanted to share a tip that can be used to manage anger and/or stress (the two often occur hand in hand). It’s about recognizing the difference between acceptance vs. agreement. Acceptance vs. Agreement I don’t agree with everything that everyone says, and by the same token, not
Even with all the counselling and personal consulting I provide on the topic of anger, I still experience anger like everyone else. Many of the same things that trigger your anger triggers mine as well. Some clients get surprised when I tell them this. Their perception is that because I’m a psychologist who specializes in anger management, I must never get angry. This is when I have to remind clients that anger is a
We’ve all copied something. We’ve all tried to imitate someone or something. But in some circumstances, people will copy or imitate violent acts. A couple of years ago, just after the Boston Marathon bombing, a husband and wife were arrested for attempting to bomb the British Columbia legislature during Canada Day celebrations. In the backdrop of the Boston marathon bombings, the media referred to it as a
Recently, I had a conversation with someone on the topic of anger. He wanted to understand why he was always so angry in his relationship with his partner. So, I pulled out my dry-erase whiteboard and drew an iceberg. I think the iceberg is a really powerful metaphor for how we think, feel, and behave. According to most estimates, about 10% of an iceberg is above water and about 90% is below water. This means that we
Here in Toronto, we’ve been dealing with some very hot temperatures lately. While I’ve heard my share of people complaining about the heat, I’ve also heard my share of people expressing gratitude for the beautiful weather. So, I thought about what life might be like if the weather were hot throughout the entire year. I remember reading about a study which said that hot cities had higher crime rates. So, I Googled th
Cognitive theory originated with the works of Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. It later emerged into Cogntive-Behavioural Theory (or CBT). This theory suggests that individuals who are experiencing any kind of distress (e.g., depression, anxiety, anger) are usually engaging in biased ways of thinking. The role of the therapist when operating from a cognitive paradigm is to identify what some of these biases may be and he
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