It’s very stressful to make an important decision.
And if you’re already in a state of anxiety, the decision-making process can be even more difficult because you’re afraid of making the wrong choice!
Last week, I wrote about Serena Williams’ decision to retire. She struggled with this decision because she loves entertaining people by playing tennis but also wants to have another child. Given her age, she had to choose between career and family.
Many people (women, especially) often have to decide between career and family. Yes, it’s possible to do both, but women have to adjust their careers more often than men.
Regardless of whether or not you identify as an anxious person, the difficulty of choosing between two important areas of your life – career, and family – can make the decision process more agonizing.
Two Strategies for Making Important Decisions
If you’ve ever been in this position, here are two strategies to help you through the process.
1. Fall Back on your Values. The things important to you today are likely different than what was important to you only a few years ago. When faced with a difficult choice, reflect on what’s important to you at this time in your life and choose accordingly.
2. Imagine living ‘as if.’ Many years ago, when I was living in Alberta, I was offered a tremendous job opportunity. However, the job would have required a commitment of about four years.
At that point, I had been living in Alberta for about eight years and was becoming increasingly homesick. I wondered when or if I would move back to Ontario.
Faced with a difficult decision (take the job in Alberta or move back to Ontario), I followed an exercise recommended by my psychologist at the time. First, she asked me to spend a day imagining as if I had chosen to live in Alberta. Then, I was supposed to spend another day imagining as if I had decided to move back to Ontario.
The exercise was effective. I didn’t have to spend an entire day living “as if.” It only took me a few minutes.
The moment I imagined taking the job and staying in Alberta, I felt a heaviness and emptiness in my body. I noticed my entire body slouching. But when I imagined choosing to move back to Ontario, I immediately noticed my posture straighten out, and my body perked up.
I have an affinity for Alberta. It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited. But, my parents, siblings, friends, and relatives were all in Ontario at the time.
By listening to my body and imagining what it would be like to live according to a specific choice, I gained deep clarity and knew what my decision would be.
Summary
Decisions can allow a person to identify what’s important to them.
When you are struggling between two crucial choices, look to your values. Identify what’s important to you at this time in your life and let those values guide your decisions.
Then, if you’re still not sure, spend some time imagining as if you’re living by each choice. Your body will quickly react to what is deeply rooted in your mind and heart.
And therein lies your answer.
Richard
If you enjoyed this post, then pick up my new book, The Promise Wheel: Psychology For Growth and a Balanced Life. I provide dozens of strategies and insights on how to improve your health, relationships, and career so that you can achieve personal balance, feel less stressed, and have fun again.