Every year around this time, I like to set some goals/plans/intentions for the upcoming year. I might also start writing out some dreams for the next few years of my life—five-year or ten-year plans.
I’ve been going through this process for as long as I can remember.
Below are some things I keep in mind when setting goals and plans for the upcoming year. I call them the “5 R’s of Goal-Setting and Self-Improvement.”
The 5 R’s of Goal-Setting and Self-Improvement
1. Reflect on the past year.
Before you can change anything, you first need to know what you’d like to change. That’s the purpose of this step. For example, what were you happy about this past year? What were you unhappy about this past year? What do you wish was different? Reflecting on the past year can guide you around what you need to change and improve upon for the upcoming year.
2. Be Realistic.
Sometimes the goals I set are broad and general (e.g., improve my health.) Other times, my goals are more specific (e.g., losing 10 pounds). When my goals are more detailed, I also want them to be more realistic. For example, if I haven’t read any books over the past year, then setting a goal to read one book per month isn’t practical.
If you’ve struggled with achieving goals in the past, then start by modifying those same goals into something smaller and more realistic. Focus more on building the routine rather than achieving the goal.
3. Relax your expectations.
Most people would love to lose 20 pounds in one month. Most people would love to sleep better for the rest of their lives. But just because you made a few minor changes or achieved your goal for several weeks doesn’t mean you’re going to get the results you were immediately hoping for.
Change takes time. Sometimes years. In the meantime, relax your expectations and appreciate the small steps you’re taking toward achieving the bigger goal.
4. Relapse is a part of the change process.
People who have accomplished significant goals weren’t successful the first time around. You’ve heard the cliche, “If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again.” There’s a reason why this cliche has withstood the test of time. It’s because it’s true.
Accept that relapse is a part of goal-setting. Just because you didn’t achieve your goal the first time doesn’t mean you need to give up on it entirely. Instead, look at your goal and reflect on whether it was realistic. What did you learn from your failure? Every setback will bring you one step closer to success.
5. Review your goals a few times per year.
For example, whenever my family and I go on a road trip, my kids often ask, “Are we there yet? How much longer?” Their questions force me to look at how far we’ve traveled and how much farther we have to go. When we stop the car for a break, I also like to look at what the road looks like up ahead. Any traffic or accidents? Are any storms on the way?
When working on a goal or building a habit, take some time to review where you are on your journey. There might be some unexpected delays up ahead that will require you to revise your plan.
Enjoy the journey.
No journey is ever perfect and carefree. Just think of the last time you planned a big trip. Some likely delays and interruptions forced you to revisit your travel route.
Delays, challenges, and bumps in the road are typical and expected. When this happens, accept that it’s part of the journey. There’s no need to feel guilty or to blame yourself. Just brush it off, regroup, and try again. Enjoy the process.
Richard
P.S. If you’d like some help identifying areas of improvement or if you’d like some reaching your personal goals, reach out to one of our therapists. They’re happy to accompany you on your personal growth and self-improvement journey.