“Stress acts as an accelerator: it will push you either forward or backward, but you choose which direction.”
― Chelsea Erieau
In my previous post on the relationship between stress and performance, I talked about how a little bit of stress can be good.
Here are a few things I’ve learned about stress that can make you view it more positively. They are lessons I’ve learned from clients and personal experiences.
Four Lessons About Stress
1. Stress teaches you how and when to set boundaries.
I remember being in graduate school when I first discovered this lesson. It was a small class of about ten students, and we were all checking in regarding our experiences in the program. I explained to my instructor and classmates that I was getting overwhelmed and stressed out with everything: my assignments and readings, my internship, and certain events in my personal life that were making it all worse. My instructor then asked me an interesting question.
“How do you look when stressed? How will we all know that you’re stressed out?”
I had never asked myself that question before.
Today, I’m much better at identifying when I’m stressed and pinpointing a cause. And it’s often related to work.
You see, I love working as a counselling psychologist. Connecting with a client and using various interventions to help them get unstuck and move forward is an incredibly rewarding feeling.
But I can’t do it for 40-hours per week. In fact, I can’t do it for more than 25 hours per week. That’s all I can handle. If I see more than 25 clients, I start to become irritable and short with people, I begin feeling disconnected from my clients, and my thinking becomes foggy and slow.
Not to mention that the other areas of my Wheel – my relationships, hobbies, physical health, and spiritual life – all begin to suffer.
All these are signs of overworking. They’re signs that I’m feeling stressed. Stress tells me that my Wheel is imbalanced and that it’s time to establish a boundary with work.
2. Stress can bring out strengths you didn’t know you had.
Think back to a difficult period in life. Maybe you were (or are) going through a difficult period in your relationship. Perhaps you’re struggling at school or work. Maybe you’re dealing with a serious illness.
Now, think about what you are learning about yourself in the process. That you’re strong? Resilient? Tolerant? That you’re able to handle more than you ever thought possible?
If you reflect on the lessons learned from these stressful events, you’ll begin to see how these stressful events are bringing out qualities and traits in you that you didn’t know you had. While incredibly uncomfortable, stress forces us to adapt and elucidate qualities often dormant and hidden.
3. Stress can help you empathize with others who are struggling.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes. However, empathizing with someone who is struggling can be tricky unless you’ve experienced stressful and challenging events yourself.
When you go through a stressful event, you are building your capacity to understand, empathize, and connect with others who are also struggling.
4. Stress can sometimes lead to motivation and better performance.
I’m writing this post a few days before Superbowl 58, a sporting event estimated to attract over 100 million viewers. Can you imagine performing in front of 100 million people?! Now that’s stressful.
But while some players might get nervous and underperform due to all the pressure, other players will be able to quiet the noise and treat it as just another game. Some players will excel due to all the attention, pressure, and stress. It’s a reminder that stress can be advantageous, and even necessary, for some people to perform at their best.
We All Get Stressed
However stress impacts you, it can be a tremendous learning opportunity. It can build your resistance and tolerance for future stressful events.
When you find the right amount of pressure that motivates you to perform better, you are learning how to use stress to your advantage. Learning to perform while feeling stressed might take much time and practice, but you’ll be able to use what you learn throughout life.
Richard