Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking about my goals for the year and the next few years.
The process of thinking about goals is self-reflective, and the better you are at self-reflection, the better you’ll be at clarifying what you want to change within yourself and your life.
Benefits of Self-Reflection
As a graduate student in counselling psychology, my instructors and supervisors always emphasized the importance of self-reflection.
Soon after working independently as a therapist, not only did I begin to appreciate the role of self-reflection in my work, but I also began to appreciate it in my personal life.
Why? Because as our instructors would repeatedly tell us, “If you want to be able to help someone with their issues, you need to be aware of your issues first.”
Twenty years later, being more self-reflective is a cornerstone for my overall development as a psychologist, husband, father, friend, brother, and every other identity I have.
Strategies for Being More Self-Reflective.
Here are a few things I do to be more self-reflective and self-aware.
1. Pause.
Before I do any of the other tips below, I start by pausing. Pausing, even for a few seconds, is the root of self-reflection. Whenever I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated by things around me, pausing allows me to become more mindful of where I am, what I’m doing, and what is happening around me. At that point, it becomes easier for me to follow the steps below.
2. Observe yourself from a distance.
What would you notice about yourself if you were standing outside your body? Also, what would you see happening around you? Trying to imagine yourself stepping away from your body can give you a deeper perspective on how you behave. It can also help you be more grounded in the present moment rather than being taken over by thoughts from your past or future.
3. Ask yourself, “Why did I do this?”
We are all motivated by different things. And although we might not consciously know (or want to admit) why we do or say something, pausing and turning our attention inward can help us to clarify some of the deeper reasons behind our words, thoughts, and actions.
So, when I want to be more self-reflective, I often try to come up with possible reasons why I might be acting the way I am. Sometimes the explanations I have for myself seem way off (at least to my conscious brain). But what matters is that I’m trying to understand myself more deeply by asking myself this question. Thinking about the different reasons for why you made a particular choice is an exercise in self-reflection.
Summary
Before setting some goals or intentions for the year (or your life), reflect on what you would like to change in yourself. Start by pausing, then become more self-aware of what you are doing at various moments throughout the day. Finally, asking yourself, “Why am I behaving, thinking, or feeling this way?” is another step in self-reflection.
When you develop more awareness about yourself, you’ll have more clarity about the goals and intentions that are right for you at this moment in your life.
I hope this post helps you in your journey to being more self-reflective.
Richard