Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in while, or the light won’t come in.
– Alan Alda
We all make predictions and assumptions about many things in life. We make predictions about the weather or the outcome of a big game. We assume to know what caused so-and-so to leave their partner, or the “real reason” why your co-worker lost her job.
Some of these predictions and assumptions can be correct, but most of the time, we’re way off the mark.
A few weeks ago, I was feeling stressed about my schedule. I had a report to complete and a whole week of counselling sessions, and my calendar was packed with personal commitments. One day, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling stressed and worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle everything on my plate.
But you know what? It all worked out, and I had a terrific day and week.
Fortune Telling: A Type of Distorted Thinking
The prediction and assumption I made about how my day and week would turn out fell into a thinking pattern known as Fortune Telling. It’s a category of thinking errors – biased or unhelpful ways of thinking – that contribute to feelings of stress, worry, anxiety, and depression.
Fortune Telling is a perfect example of how our thoughts and way of thinking can influence our feelings. It explains how our worries, anxieties, and fears can be created and magnified by what we tell ourselves.
Our self-talk and ways of viewing the world are examples of how our Mind (one of the spokes on the Promise Wheel) can make us feel unbalanced, leading to unpleasant and uncomfortable emotions.
Assuming the Worst is a Common Assumption
A few months ago, I wrote a post on negativity bias. The premise behind the article is that even when things are going well, we tend to focus on the one thing that isn’t going well or the one that stands out. It’s a normal phenomenon that dates back to prehistoric times.
Although we are all susceptible to negativity bias, it becomes a problem when it’s the first and only thing you think about. In other words, simply thinking about a negative outcome isn’t a problem. But it can be a problem if it’s the only thing you think about or the only outcome you dwell on.
Fortune Telling occurs when you make a prediction or assumption that things will turn out badly even though you don’t have all of the evidence to support your prediction. It’s a type of negativity bias, and it’s something that we all do regularly.
Here are a few examples:
- You just wrote a test or completed a project, and you make a prediction that you did poorly.
- Your boss calls you into her office, and you assume it’s because you’ll get in trouble.
- Your relationship ends, and you predict you’ll never fall in love again.
- Your kids pull away when you try to hug them, and you tell yourself they’ll never let you embrace them again.
These are all examples of Fortune Telling, Jumping to Conclusions, or Negativity Bias. They are examples of how we assume the worst even though we don’t have evidence (or very little of it) to support our assumption.
But there are a few things you can do to change it.
How to Challenge Assumptions and Predictions
When you find yourself making pessimistic predictions and assumptions, the goal is to think more balanced thoughts, and the best way to do this is to ask yourself more rational questions.
For example,
- What are some other possible outcomes?
- When you’ve been in a similar situation before, what did you learn that you can apply to the current situation?
- How likely is it that the worst case scenario will happen?
- How many times have you been wrong? Is there a chance that you could be wrong now?
- Overall, how good are you at predicting events in the future?
When you’re dealing with a challenging situation, it’s normal for your mind to gravitate toward a negative outcome. But just because you can think and visualize a negative result doesn’t mean it’s true.
When you find yourself jumping to conclusions, assuming the worst, or making a pessimistic prediction, your emotions are likely getting the best of you and thwarting your ability to think logically. When that happens, stop and ask yourself logical questions like those above.
You might not be able to control the outcome of a situation, but you can control how you approach it.
Richard